There is something that I have been seeing recently in videos that I review that is killing retention, but is, luckily, easy to fix. Let me illustrate with an example.

“I arrived at my campsite and put up my tent. I decided on this spot because it was windy close to the beach, and I also couldn’t get my stakes to stay in the ground over there. As you can see, I have a fire ready, so now it’s time to make dinner! Mmm, this is great. What a lovely evening!”

I don’t know about you, but I think that story sucks.

Why does it suck? Because I am giving a bunch of payoffs in a row, not setting any of them up, nor bringing you through the tension.

This is the “Payoff Problem”, which is when you confuse the “Resolution / Payoff” and “Set up” parts of a “Story Loop” and deliver them in the wrong order, often missing the “Set up” and “Tension” altogether.

Too Many Payoffs

Let’s have a look again at the example I gave, and then I will propose a re-write. Note that I am using “Resolution” and “Payoff” interchangeably. They are one in the same: the end of a story loop. Below, I will put in “Setup”, “Tension”, or “Payoff” after each section to show you what that section was:

“I arrived at my campsite (a payoff) and put up my tent (a payoff). I decided on this spot (a payoff) because it was windy close to the beach (tension), and I also couldn’t get my stakes to stay in the ground (tension). As you can see, I have a fire ready (a payoff), so now it’s time to make dinner (a set up)! Mmm, this is great. What a lovely evening (a payoff) !”

As you can see, everything is ordered wrong, there are way too many payoffs, and not enough set ups.

A Rewrite

So here is a re-write setting everything up using the “Story Loop” structure. For your reference if you missed that newsletter, here is a quick recap:

• Set up: Here is this thing we will do.
• Tension: This is why we are doing it, how we are doing it, why it matters, how we feel about it, and what the process looks like.
• Resolution/Payoff: We did the thing.

So, taking that structure, here is a possible re-write:

“We are getting closer to the campsite (setup), but it’s getting dark and I am starting to worry. We still have 1km left to go, my legs are incredibly tired, and I’m so hungry. But, I will walk faster because I need to get there before dark (tension).

Ahh, thank god we arrived! (payoff)

Now, we need to pick a spot to put the tent (set up). It’s super windy close to the beach and hard to put the stakes down, so I will see if there are any better spots more inland (tension).

Oh look, here is a good spot (resolution)!

Now it’s time to make a fire (setup). There’s not much to burn around here, so I’ll have to go further into the forest (tension).

Luckily, I found some dry wood further in, so let’s light the fire (payoff).

Now let’s make some dinner (setup). I have some freeze-dried meals with me to keep down the weight, so all I need to do is boil some water, pour it in, and mix it all (tension). Mmm, this is great. What a lovely evening (payoff)!”

Something to note is that you don’t have to spell every single thing out. You can instead show us all of this. But the point is, you do need to go through setting up each story loop before delivering the payoff.

The minute you solve a story beat with a payoff, you need to immediately set up the next one! Your viewer needs to always have an unanswered question or obstacle in their minds to stay engaged. That doesn’t mean you can’t pause a second after you have set up the next loop, as I showed Eva Zu Beck does in her videos, but you do need to have something you we are waiting for.

ACTION

So as an action point to this newsletter, go through one of your past episodes or your latest script and see if you can identify areas where you have the “Payoff Problem”. Try to reorder these scenes, and then use voiceovers to fill in the gaps where you didn’t record part of the story loop.